Paying Attention Brings Me Full Circle

Some of my very earliest childhood memories are framed by a quest. Unlike most, however, the prize or nature of the mission was entirely unknown. My dearest friend Maile, and I, would wander the woods, dirt roads and playgrounds of our truly small town looking for "clues for the case." The words were very specific. I don't remember when we felt the calling or how it came to be that two five year-olds had a deep and mutual understanding of such an amorphous journey but so it was.

Clues manifested themselves in nature - a pile twigs that had fallen exactly in parallel lines, a perfect oculous in the canopy of oak trees, tree bark in the shape of letters. Each happening of an unnatural, or seemingly so, shape in nature indicated to us that we were aware of the very moment that we needed to be to learn from our surroundings. The best clues would point us in the direction of the next mystery. Our journey gave us focus for several years until the mystery because too overwhelming, or cursive letters too all consuming, and the case slowly faded away.

Recently, though I've been feeling the pull to draw sense from the universe. Find reassurance that being in the right place at the right time isn't merely accidental. It has been a rocky year. I left my job of 6 years without a plan, planned a wedding on a shoestring, and most recently joined many other Americans in a "down-turn" when my husband was laid off. Flip side, I found two wonderful jobs and when Vance lost his job, possibilities opend such that we could imagine a life we wanted not merely one that would pay the bills.

So, off we go moving to Providence (where my folks grew up and the rents are markely cheaper than Boston) where I will support us for a time, while Vance learns to make bread. Ever since we dared to consider changing our lives to travel a few steps closer to a the life that we think we want (some kind of righteous foodie, family business) clues for the case have populated the atmosphere. Today's clues happen more in synchronistic conversations with people where unrelated relations have crossed over in strange and complicated ways but the impact is the same. It feels very much as though clues for the case are shaking our hands, giving us encouragement, and keeping the faith.

It feels good to be back on the case!